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On The Lighter Side of Things: Jokes and Funny Things
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Luke Tan
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Joined: 14 Jun 2009
Posts: 277

PostPosted: Sun Feb 01, 2015 12:30 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Look Alikes

A serious drunk walked into a bar and, after staring for some time at the only woman seated at the bar, walked over to her and kissed her. She jumped up and slapped him silly.
He immediately apologized and explained, "I'm sorry. I thought you were my wife. You look exactly like her."

"Why you worthless, insufferable, wretched, no good drunk!" she screamed.

"Funny," he muttered, "you even sound exactly like her."

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Luke Tan
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Joined: 14 Jun 2009
Posts: 277

PostPosted: Fri Feb 06, 2015 8:46 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Dead Again

During a funeral, the pallbearers accidentally bump into a wall and hear a faint moan. They open the casket and find out that the woman is actually alive.

She lives for 10 more years and then dies. There is another funeral for her. At the end of the service, the pallbearers carry out the casket.

As they are walking out, the husband cries out, "Watch out for the wall!"

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Luke Tan
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Joined: 14 Jun 2009
Posts: 277

PostPosted: Sun Mar 08, 2015 8:46 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

A Clairvoyant Little Boy

There was once a clairvoyant little boy, who could foresee the future.
One night while saying his prayers, the little boy was heard to finish, "God bless Mommy, God bless Daddy, God bless Grandma, goodbye Grandpa."
The next day his grandfather dropped dead of a heart attack.

A few weeks later, the little boy was praying, "God bless Mommy, God bless Daddy, goodbye Grandma."
The next day poor grandmother was hit by a bus while crossing the street-she never felt a thing.

A month or so later, the little boy was praying and said. "God bless Mommy, goodbye Daddy."
His father panicked. He had himself driven, very carefully and slowly, to work, by an armed guard in an armored security truck he hired.
He couldn't concentrate, however, thinking about those words, "Goodbye Daddy."

He finally came home early, but very carefully.
He was met at the front door by his wife, who said, "What do you think happened today, dear? The most awful thing--the milkman dropped dead on the back porch."

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Luke Tan
Site Admin


Joined: 14 Jun 2009
Posts: 277

PostPosted: Mon Mar 30, 2015 10:29 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

A Young Blonde

A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun.

The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead.

She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head.

The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

Hysterically the blonde responds to the husband, ''Shut up...you're next!''


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Thean Teik
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Joined: 11 May 2009
Posts: 197

PostPosted: Tue May 12, 2015 10:56 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hi Chegu Luke,
Suggoh lama ta'ada berita. Hope everything is fine.
Spring is here but it's still too early for us to do much yet. Nature played a joke on us by dumping a deep pile of snow. Hopefully the accompanying frost we got a couple of days ago is the last so that gua can start gardening again. So far very dry-lah.
Peace
Thean Teik
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